Friday, December 19, 2008

Turning 30

I felt like writing something about my turning 30 the other day (or was it earlier than that?). But along the way the urge just dissipated bit by bit. And now seems like I'm at the last few precious drops of that urge, and the rest has just gone down the drain. Since I have nothing to do at the moment (a nicer way of saying that I'm bumming around), I decided to make use of these last few drops and pour them down to writing an entry. This will be one of those entry where the structure is unclear and would seem like coming from a scatterbrained person (which is exactly who I really am). Whatever.

So, perhaps I could begin by pondering why the urge dissipated. For one, perhaps because my birthday has already passed by. It was only one day anyways and it happened a few days before. It is in the past. And maybe because I already had 29 of 'em before. 30 years. 30 times the Earth has rotated around the sun since I came out of that wet place. Depending on how you see it, it could be a big deal (wow, the Earth rotates around the sun! Marvelous scientific wonder!) or it could also be a meh thing (meh, so what if the Earth rotates around the sun...happens every year...). So yeah, there you go. Turning 30 just because of the fact that the Earth has rotated around the sun for 30 times since that 'fateful' day.

People would probably write up about their birthdays because of what they have achieved so far in life at that moment, and what they are planning to achieve even more in the future. What have I achieved? Depending on how you see it, it can be a lot, and it can be none at all. Einstein's theory keeps popping up here and there in this entry...

Well, yeah, I've been to and seen places I thought I'd see later on in my life, got a sum of money which number of zeros I thought I'd never see displayed in my bank account (and realized that it's never enough), met a lot of colorful people (literally and figuratively), discovered the joy of music and photography (remember what I said just now about how money will never be enough?) and pretty much created a mess here and there from time to time. But you don't need birthdays to commemorate these things, do you? Just stop once in awhile and you'll come to realize this. Just make sure you don't stop too long.

So, what's in a birthday anyways? Popular culture seems to have establish it as a big thing. Marketing goes into full throttle. Hallmark's got a lot of profit out of it (and a great number of restaurants and bakeries from all around the world). However, at least there's a reason to celebrate 'something'. Just like any other celebration. I didn't celebrate my recent one though. Just feeling kinda stingy (even with that some people have managed to 'persuade' me to buy them lunch).

Oh well. Let me end this nonsense quickly before I got to thinking too much.

Some people expect (or hope/wish or force themselves to) that along the passage of time they will become more adult and wiser. I hope I won't ever be. Adulthood is overrated. Its qualities are relative and vague, and, in my opinion, something that is forced upon men and women by feminists and pop-culture magazines (these two are actually one and the same thing), and wiseness seems to stem from being too tired to make more mistakes. And so, I would like to call upon one of that tradition of "make a wish before blowing your candle": I wish I will never be too adult or too wise. Let me be foolish and make more mistakes (hopefully not the same ones again, but if it needs be...), so that I will never stop learning.

So I will never stop living.

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