The Spaces in Between...

...is where I am right now. I remember the feeling well. I went through it last year, before I left Manila for the US. I was staying in an apartment that was assigned to my friend, and I was just waiting to leave. I felt I was not welcomed. I felt like I didn't belong anymore. I was not here and yet was not there either. It was time to move on, but not just yet.

In the US it didn't take long for me to feel that I belonged. By the time it came, however, it was time to come back to Manila. The feeling returned. The spaces in between began to fill in the gaps during the last week I was in Concord. I was not there and yet was not here either. It was time to go back, but not just yet. I was nowhere.

Now here I am going through the same thing again, temporarily living in an apartment that was assigned to a friend of mine (because I've been booted out of mine). My things are everywhere, and I lost my usual bit of habits and orderliness. I used to put my glasses there, my wallet over here, my handphone on that table, and I now that I moved room couldn't seem to find them anywhere.

I have one foot in the past, and the other about to cross that fine line between then and right now. The present. But it's not there yet. Not yet. I'm just in between the lines.

However, the spaces in between are still spaces. They are still places. And rather than letting it be a gap, I'm trying to fill it in with activities. There shall be more photos. There should be more posts. There should be just a few more good-byes to places that I like most. And there should be one more song to sing.

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end. But there will always be the spaces in between until then.